so let's talk penis.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
