bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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