Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
