EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize