"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
