I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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