All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
