Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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