I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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