I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
