she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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