Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
