The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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