bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
