i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am one with the molecules
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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