Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
