So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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