she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
