My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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