he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
