if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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