Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Congratulations! We have a period
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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