and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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