dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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