If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she peed on how many people?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
