We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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