somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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