Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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