Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.

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(618): View more from Illinois

You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.

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(858): View more from California

I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."

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(813): View more from Florida

IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA

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(630): View more from Illinois

She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...

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(678): View more from Georgia

I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.

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