pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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