I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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