8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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