bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
