My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
