I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
