Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
