he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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