Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
