My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
