I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
