Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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