i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
