i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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