have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize