I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize