I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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