I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize