the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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