Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
