meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
