neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
