there's paper in my vomit.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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