So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
