Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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