Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
