I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I use my feet as sexual weapons
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
