Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
