i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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