Four minutes until I can fart!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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