We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
