How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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