We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
