Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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